Friends, it is time again to cede The Mark 5:19 Project article spot to Heidi Indahl, co-founder of Designed for Discipleship and frequent collaborator with our apostolate. We recently worked together (with my husband Jerry Windley-Daoust) on a retreat morning for families titled “Parenting from the Heart of Jesus,” which really got the juices flowing. Enjoy!

It is time to circle back to something we have hinted at in several The Mark 5:19 Project project articles over the past year. It’s a conversation I’ve had over and over with clients, catechists, and others who share a passion for evangelization.  It usually starts with the question, “How do we teach kids who aren’t coming to Mass?” or “How do we get parents to bring their kids to Mass?”

I’m going to propose that these questions indicate symptoms of a problem, not the problem itself. Admittedly, resolving these symptoms does make teaching faith formation easier, but I think if we really want to effect lasting change we need to look deeper.

As I’ve said before, learning anything well- including faith- requires both experience and language. Many people don’t come to Mass because they quite simply don’t know why they should. They have low spiritual literacy around the “stuff” of our faith, including the liturgy, and they do not have a lived relationship with Jesus.

Some Catholic parents have been to twelve years of Catholic schools, but despite knowing a lot about Jesus they don’t actually know Jesus. They have varying knowledge levels of language without ever having a genuine personal encounter with God’s love to tie it to.

The catechism clearly identifies parents as the primary educators of the faith. I’ve spent most of my career focusing on this, even writing my Master’s capstone project on the topic, but what I’ve discovered is that most parents simply aren’t ready to disciple their kids and launch them on an evangelical mission into the world. That’s apostolic work and its not where many (even most) parents are in their own journey of discipleship. Mass attendance and faith formation readiness are symptoms of that problem, but they aren’t the problem itself. 

This is where I think the problem really lies.  In addition to widespread low levels of spiritual literacy and discipleship, Catholic families are (to be blunt) broken, stretched thin and feel largely unsupported. To be honest, we can go ahead and take the Catholic out of that sentence.  All families are struggling with things difficult to tackle without knowing how to stay with Jesus in every moment of every day.

Families need a new form of advocacy and inclusion within our ministry that looks less like preaching at them and telling them what to do and more like walking with them, towards Jesus.

The good news is that when we support kids with authentic, evangelical faith formation, we can support parents at the same time in a variety of ways.  When kids experience Jesus in a way that makes faith formation and church a thing they are excited about, parents are generally going to be more excited about it too. This is a start. What we offer families is the foundation of a lasting relationship that will transform their lives and help them break out of cycles of brokenness, exhaustion, and isolation.  

Mass and faith formation can move from activity drudgery on the family calendar to a welcome respite from the rest of their week. This is a respite families know they need, but many (most) don’t know how to find…until someone shows them. 

In case I need to be even more explicit, that someone is us. The children in our parishes (and as a result our programs) are suffering because families are suffering.   

I am going to continue this conversation on engaging and supporting families through faith formation ministries over the next couple of months. I will start next month with an article on Baptism and evangelization and another on supporting families at varying thresholds of discipleship.  Both will help us dive deeper into the concept of advocating through family accompaniment. 

For today, I want to leave you with a partial list of ways to pray for and include families in faith formation efforts at different levels, even when they might not be ready to personally engage or lead efforts themselves (adapted from The Proactive Catechist, Tim & Heidi Indahl).

Program Level Ways To Include Parents
Personal Invitations
Volunteering
Classroom Photo Walls
Sharing Completed Projects
Family Challenges
Scheduled Family Activities
Youth Mass
Community Service
Celebrating Liturgical Seasons
Family Night

Catechist Prayer Intentions That Support Families
Current Students, by Name
Family Needs
School Communities
Parish Communities
Past Students
Future Students
Special Events
Classroom Struggles
Upcoming Sacraments

More on how to support parish families coming next month! — Heidi Indahl

If you would like to contact Heidi directly, she is booking speaking and consulting directed at faith formation, Catholic schools, and parent education/formation. You can reach her at he***@*********************ip.org or the Designed for Discipleship website. The Mark 5:19 Project collaborates with Heidi’s work–and we have an agreement to give parishes and dioceses a financial break if you hire us together, so reach out if interested!